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My Dirty Little Secret

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Would you like me to let you in on a dirty little secret?  I have my surgery to remove my prostate gland and thereby remove my cancer July 25.  Eleven days from now.  I’m scared.  I know.  There is nothing for me to worry about, right?  Since November 2013 I have had a major hernia surgery, replaced two hips and a knee.  I have faced worse.  Just like my hernia surgery and my replacements, I have the best surgeon in the (Beaumont) Oakwood system….literally the best.  They caught it early and as far as they could determine it has not spread. I am truly blessed to have the best and the most supportive people around me.  Yet, I am scared.  I am writing this blog entry as (hopefully) a stress reliever.

You have noticed that I am still have not returned to podcasting even though I have promised to get back on that horse.  I am going to resurrect “The Help Desk Podcast” and I am going to turn the “Lose and Live” podcast into something that I can talk about healthy living.  I am also going to throw a healthy portion of episodes about prostate cancer too.  There are so many things I would like to talk about but when I have time all I do is futz around on my computer.  Jigsaw puzzles, mah-jhong….you know mind-numbing stuff.  It stops me from thinking of things that I don’t want to think about.

Everybody tells me I have to be “up”.  They say, “Keep up that attitude.  You can beat this”.  I feel like I have to be in a great mood, keep my chin up all the time or risk “negative (and harmful) vibes.  It can be confusing.  I know so many guys that have beaten prostate cancer.  I know damn well I can beat it.  In preparation, I am losing weight (finally).  I am probably stronger now than I have been in the past 3-4 years.  I feel good.  Hell, I feel great!

I think it’s starting to hit me because next week is my last week at work for another 4-8 weeks.  There is a very cool surgical technique for prostate cancer called the DaVinci system.  Its laser surgery and the recovery time is better but maybe the most important part is the improvement in side effects from the surgery.  It’s truly not like what my Dad had to go through for his prostate cancer surgery.  I guess they are going to strap me in and twirl me upside down in order to aim the laser.  You can ask Patty, I am not a fan of Cedar Point rides.  Not in Ohio and not at Beaumont-Oakwood Hospital.

I am searching the internet doing my research on this stuff.  I am a big believer that the more you know, the better your stress level will be.  At this point, I am not sure if I can know enough though.  Just a thought before I go…..did you notice I used the word futz?  Probably didn’t spell it right but the thought was there.  🙂

Thanks for listening.  Time to go to bed.


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